


Child of the stars

by ULTIOcean



Series: Starbound [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A smidge of angst on mama McClain's part, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I suppose?, LITERALLY, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance's childhood, Pre-Canon, Starboy Lance, from mama McClain's POV, he wants to find out who he is, he's a star, like literally speaking, self discovery, she loves her son okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 14:37:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13859805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ULTIOcean/pseuds/ULTIOcean
Summary: Rosalia McClain had always noticed that something about her son was different, otherwordly and incomprehensible, she saw the signs, got the memo, but she burnt it as soon as it had arrived, ignored the flags and kept on living, feigning ignorance even when she knew it would eventually come back to bite her one day.She had hoped it would have taken longer.Apparently not.Through the years, her son began acting more and more strangely, his eyes taking on a far away look, dazed as he glanced up at the stars like they were speaking to him, singing songs only he could hear, mesmerized by their colors and light like they were a beacon.The dread that swirled deep in her gut piled up as days passed by, until one day, it overflowed."Mommy, mommy I'm a star."She cried, and glared hatefully at the night sky that was trying to steal her baby away.It suceeded, eventually, but she didnt cry, this time.She waited, instead.





	Child of the stars

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! And with a new little project that spawned from the silliest of ideas, i was literally just at work, my mind drifting like always, when i just told myself 'Hey, create a little story around a short sentence, quick.' and the first thing that came to mind was 'Mommy, i'm a star'.
> 
> Long story short, the idea developed on it's own and it's on it's way to being a full fledged story, which will be three parts, the first one is this, the second one will be Lance's childhood but from his POV ( and way longer), and the third and final one will be chaptered, going through the seasons of Voltron as Lance deals with his 'problems'.
> 
> The second one is already written, but the third one will be posted only when finished (sorry) since i don't want to make you guys wait too long for updates, and the 1 and 2 can be read as stand alones, so *winks*.
> 
> Anyway i hope you enjoy this story, kinda different from my other ones but always filled with love for Voltron and Lance ( s5 destroyed me, Lotor and 'Shiro' can go d*e pls thx)

When Rosalia McClain gave birth to her fifth son, she could have never imagined just how deeply enamoured of him she would become, she loved all her children equally, and her affection would always belong to all her family members in equal measure.

But as soon as she held him in her arms and watched his sleeping chubby face, she immediately knew he was special, it was as if he radiated light, a sight too beautiful for words with the best traits of the McClain and Sánchez families put together.

He had his husband's brown hair, the silky tufts covering the top of his head in an unruly mane, and his skin was the color of caramel, just like hers, as if it had been sun-kissed even before he was born, as if he'd been loved by the warmth of the sun from the moment he took his first breath.

She knew for a fact that babies could be cute, her two sons and daughters had been some of the cutest babies to ever touch the earth, but maybe it had been because she'd seen them through a mother's eyes.

Alejandro, on the other hand, was simply beautiful, there were no words to describe the joy she felt every time she gazed at him, it was like she was holding a precious jewel, like his whole being was thrumming with some unknown force that beckoned her to cherish his every move, his every breath, his sole existence.

The love she felt for her youngest child was unadulterated and all-encompassing.

She wanted to protect him from all bad things in the world.

And then he opened his eyes.

And her breath got taken away.

It was like his eyes were swimming with swirling galaxies and space dust, shining glitter and comets and shooting stars passing by his irises in the blink of an eye, the colors vibrant and radiant amongst the black canvas that worked as a background for such a gorgeous sight.

She saw tiny splashes of color dusting the corners of his eyes, almost as if they were outlining the shape of constellations yet undiscovered while small pinpricks of light, like meteorites alight in their falling, colored his cheeks.

The tears came unbidden, and her son blinked to bring forth an ocean blue, the shade and color brimming with familiarity as a deep wave of relief crashed over her whole self while she gazed upon the hue she knew very well, her own eye color being reflected back at her.

For a split second, she missed the universe she saw in her son's eyes.

Inwardly, the fear of what she'd witnessed overcame her senses, and she denied with all her soul what she knew had to be an illusion, something her fatigued and sleep deprived mind had conjured in her starstruck state.

She chalked it up to that, and forgot about it as soon as her son smiled at her for the first time.

\--

At two years old, she noticed her son had an uncanny fascination with the outdoors. He would often crawl or wobble all throughout the house until he found the door that led to the backyard, and he would whine and scream indescifrable babble until someone let him out.

She was wary, at first, worried that he might hurt himself, and if an adult wasn't available to keep watch over him, she would deny him of his little adventure. The next twenty minutes would consist on his incessant crying, and her trying to calm him down, usually ending with both of them asleep on the couch, cuddling.

As time passed, though, the more she allowed him to go outside, the more she noticed that her concern had been unfounded. Her son was smart, scarily so. He would walk outside slowly, leaning on furniture and other objects on his path, but once he arrived at the porch that overlooked the ocean, he would just plop down on the wooden floors, legs strewn forwards and head facing the sky.

His eyes would lit up with wonder and awe, and sometimes, he would raise his hands as if he believed he could touch the stars, doing small, grabby motions and babbling words that she couldn't understand. Although some things would slip through, things he'd learnt how to say in his young age.

"Ma-ma, ca-sa....ho-me?"

The words were more of a question than an affirmation, and she reached the conclusion that this was either, one: his reaction to seeing something new, something he still couldn't understand, like a baby seeing snow for the first time, or two: her son comparing his family to the stars.

The thought brought forth a wave of warmth that crashed over her body and prompted her to hug her boy with all her might, blowing raspberries at him as they both giggled, happy and without a care in the world.

Her son continued with his little routine every other day, and an unbidden feeling of dread bloomed and began growing inside her chest.

Her son only asked to go outside at night, exclusively when the sky was clear and the universe above them could be seen.

She grew to hate the stars.

\--

At age five, Alejandro was the most mischievous kid in the whole neighbourhood, and he drove all the adults crazy with his pranks and escapades.

No one could ever stay mad at him, though.

For all his cockiness and his though guy act, her son was the sweetest thing in the universe, and it seemed that gentle aura seeped from his every pore and overflowed, filling the people around him with happiness. The other children gravitated towards him, they craved his attention, and the whole group seemed to irradiate life when they got together, everyone curled around his form, listening intently to whatever he was saying.

It was like he was a magnet, and his pull was so strong that not even the adults could resist it's charm. They would crowd around him to talk, give him little trinkets and presents, invite him to parties and events and the like. And if he so much as smiled at them, they would melt, their own faces would light up, and it was as if they had achieved some sort of _epiphany._

Her neighbor had once described it as, _'The feeling of being weightless, released from all pressure and stress, like my body was feather light and all my problems were inconsequential. It felt like hope was blooming in my chest and I could feel any negativity in me fade away, like I could do anything if I put my mind to it.'_

She hadn't known what to make of that, and she could only watch as her son enchanted everyone he met with his words, his gentle character and kind, compassionate spirit. And he had thrived with it, she could see it in the way he smiled, the way his face lit up whenever he made someone happy, every time he helped people in need, whenever he made a new friend or soothed someone that was suffering with a well thought joke.

He looked brimming with life and energy, and it should have made her happy.

But the feeling of foreboding that smothered her only grew stronger.

Her son still watched the stars at night, but now he muttered words she couldn't understand, words that were spoken on neither of the tongues she taught him. She'd asked him, once, why he stared at them so intently, what appeal they had to go as far as make him state that he was going to be an astronomer - a word he learnt from his older brother-, so he could understand the universe and everything it embraced.

Head still tilted towards the sky and astronomy book clutched tight to his chest, he'd replied.

"No lo se, mama. I don't know, it feels like they're calling me."

The memory of galaxies swirling in blue eyes made a knot form in her throat, and she snatched away the book before prohibiting him from going outside at night anymore.

The heartbroken expression on her son's face broke her heart, but the glare she sent to the sky that was trying to steal her baby away spoke volumes of her determination. She would carry the guilt and shoulder her son's tears if it meant he never got that faraway look in his eyes again.

Like he was longing to go far, far away where she couldn't follow.

Like he was gazing at something she couldn't begin to comprehend.

Yearning, hoping, reaching for something she couldn't see.

Alejandro's light dimmed after that, and his smile went with it.

Her heart broke, but she stayed strong.

\--

At age ten, her son had been doing good, she'd thought that everything to do with the universe was a thing of the past, she had allowed him to stargaze again from time to time since he'd turned six, but she had a curfew that he couldn't break and, so far, he respected her wishes.

He was doing okay now, as far as she knew, he had good friends, good grades, played with other kids, had sleepovers, camped on the forests close by on warm days and did the usual things a ten year old did.

She had been so _naive_.

Alejandro was a McClain, the blood flowing through his veins meant that he was stubborn as he was sneaky, headstrong, determined. He was as gentle as he was fierce, and when his mind was set to something, he never once stopped until he reached his goal, he would fight tooth and nail for what he believed was right, with all the courage he could muster.

She should have known better than to think he would have stopped stargazing or studying the stars at every chance he got just because she forbid it, she should have realized that she couldn't have stopped what happened next no matter what preventive measures she had taken. She should have known to trust her son rather than let her fear consume her to the point of causing pain to the one she wanted to protect.

But she hadn't.

And, that night, still unaware of anything, she walked to the porch and called out to her youngest, who was dipping his feet on the shore, waves lapping at his ankles as he stood under the night sky, straight as a rod, head tipped backwards and arms dangling on his sides.

When he didn't respond, she tried again, voice high pitched and slightly shaky.

"Alejandro! La cena esta lista! Me oyes?" Her son did not turn away, didn't even acknowledge that she was calling him, he just stood, a shadow in between the darkness of the ocean and the yellow light of their porch light, seeming to fade away the longer she looked at him.

"Alejandro! It's dinner time, are you coming? We're waiting for you!"

Nothing.

Heart lodged in her throat and lungs heaving for breath, she ran like her life depended on it, closing the distance that separated them, wich was barely thirty feet. But they felt like years as she kept her eyes focused on his form, scared that, if she looked away, he would be gone when she gazed back.

As soon as she reached his side, she stretched her hand, intent to touch his back and get his attention, but before she could do that he whirled around, and-

"Mommy. Mommy I'm a star." His tone was awed and sorrowful, and his eyes...oh god his eyes. They were the same ones she'd witnessed the day he'd been born, a myriad of colors swirling around his irises as specks of light dotted the corners of his eyes and cheeks, like newborn stars beginning to shine, glimmering with every color of the rainbow, getting brighter and brighter until their glow illuminated his youthful face.

The night sky was trapped in his eyes, and she hated it.

His eyes twinkled innocently at her, the black hole like canvas under the shimmering glow seeming to steal her breath away, her throat closing even when she desperately wanted to speak, and hands trembling as she reached towards her son, her baby, her precious treasure.

He smiled at her, the expression wretched and filled with grief.

"My life will be short but bright and filled with delight, the happiness I'll feel and share will bring joy to our lives and futures, no disease neither ailments will affect me, and when the time comes....I will fade in an explosion of light, firework-like bursts will illuminate the universe and bath it blue, and glitter-like space dust, pieces of my soul, will scatter throughout the universe to give birth to new light, new life." She gasped for breath, wanting him to stop, but her words had been swallowed by those eyes, and she could no longer deny in any way that her son wasn't, isn't, and would never be human.

"Mommy, mommy I'm a star."

Every mother always thought their children were the brightest stars in the universe.

But not like this. Never like this.

\--

At age fourteen, four years after the night that broke her heart into tiny little pieces, Alejandro had made a routine of stargazing again. He had a log written in code that only he could read, and more often than not he could be found on their back porch, the one that overlooked the ocean, head tilted back and eyes closed, as if he was listening to a song only his ears could hear.

After that fateful night, she'd tried to reason with him, blame the events on tiredness and a wild imagination that ran on their family, she'd tried to convince him -and herself- that it had been an hallucination, a delusion...that it never happened at all.

Her son had looked at her with eyes full of hurt and disappointment, and when he blinked once, the baby blue that she so dearly loved was back, but the light that had shone in them whenever he looked at her was gone. In it's place, a cold abyss stood between them, a thin thread of trust connecting them still, ready to break at the slightest sign of betrayal.

She hadn't had the heart to tell anyone else.

Didn't know how to.

So she stayed quiet, and carried with the guilt of being the one that had smothered her son's beautiful vibrance, his smiles now void of the unwavering confidence that had been his defining feature, a trait that beckoned people to follow him, watching as his optimism led his adventures and endeavors to fruition.

She knew she was to blame, knew she'd failed her son, because, if his own mother didn't believe in him, how could he trust that anyone would?

Even as the years passed and she tried to open up to him -hoping he did the same in return- every time the topic of space was mentioned, he would flee without so much as a glance in her direction, and that hurt more than she wanted to admit.

He still loved her, oh he did. He cared for her and their family, he was a good child, obedient, albeit adventurous, childish, but reasonable, selfish, but only when he knew it wasn't for something that really mattered. He helped on the house, walked some of the neighbor's dogs to earn some money, cleaned the garden when her back hurt and she couldn't stay upright anymore, watched over his nieces and nephews when their parents came visit.

He was mischievous and fearless and brave, and he still shared his love with every single member of their big family, listening to everyone's problems, always ready to help. But when it came to his own matters, he was a clam, he shut himself off, built walls around his heart and stopped her from even trying to reach out to him.

He would deflect and change topic, and not once, not even once, did he mention that night when she'd nervously laughed and called something that was important to him, a part of him, a mirage.

A fake.

She thought he would never forgive her, but she wasn't willing to give up.

She was a McClain too, she was as stubborn as they come.

At fourteen years old, her son was stargazing once more in the warm night of their little town.

And that same night, she gathered all her determination, and decided to stop being a coward and confront the fear that had made her damage one of the most precious things she had ever held in her arms.

She walked up to him and stopped a few feet away.

He tensed, but didn't move or try to run away.

"Alejandro, lo siento. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, I'm sorry I was too scared to support you, I'm sorry I broke your trust, I'm sorry I messed up." She told herself that she wouldn't cry, but the tears still came forth, breaching the barriers she had imposed and falling down her cheeks.

"Did you know-?" He began. "That my sisters have been talking to me all this time?" She shook her head, eyes wide as she answered him.

"Your...your sisters are back home, waiting for you to eat dinner together....what...?" He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, and she caught the telltale glow of shooting stars and nebulas passing through them.

His smile was as sorrowful as it'd been four years ago.

"Not _those_ sisters. _These_ -he pointed to the starry sky- sisters. They have been trying to tell me things, about myself, about what I am, what it means...I have been listening to them for long time, trying to understand them. But their voices took years to travel from where they are, to me, and the snippets and fragments I received were incomplete, I could never piece together what they were saying, until now." Gulping had never felt so hard, it was like a brick was stuck down her throat, and no matter how much she didnt want to listen to this, no matter how much she wanted to scream and deny all of it, she couldn't do that.

 _Wouldn't_.

She owed him as much.

"It's taken me years just to form one paragraph, and what it says is not something you're going to want to hear." Finding her voice at last, she pushed on, she wasn't going to let him down again.

"Tell me, then, son, what your sisters up in the sky were singing to you." Surprise filled his face, and then morphed into a melancholic acceptance.

"Mami, I'm probably not going to live past thirty." Frozen ice coated her being and she stopped breathing.

" Their race -mine too, I suppose- were known to contain too much energy inside them -they are stars, after all, some had human form, some didn't. But for those that were humanoid, it was difficult to keep that energy -their life-force- under wraps, it seeped away from every pore of their bodies, and that meant that their life slipped through their fingers, keeping their lifespan short, all of them bursting before their thirtieth summer."

It wouldn't process, his words didn't process. She didn't understand what he was saying, it just wasn't possible, her baby wasn't going to die before her, she wouldn't allow it.

"They had a system, though. They had...stabilizers...balancers? People that took their stray energy, making it flow through their own body and then returning it and taking it again, making a loop while the other person did the same. That way, no energy was lost, and they were able to live together in harmony, in a cycle of taking and returning." Her hands shook as she clutched her chest, hope blooming at the thought of an available solution.

"Then....-her voice trembled as she spoke- you just need someone to do that, right? I...I'll do it, I'll be your stabilizer, I'll help you through this, we can do it, together." Her son didn't smile back at her, and she felt the hairs on every part of her body stand on end.

"That....won't be possible, mami. For that person is equal here to what we would call....soulmates, the love of your life." Any faith she had gathered broke, and a pitiful sob escaped her lips before she covered her mouth, terrified.

" They were stars, incandescent, they shined the same color as their soulmate when the both of them met, knowing they had found the chosen one, the other half of their cycle. But.....-he looked at her with a sorrow so deep she thought she would die- but I'm human, mami, I can't shine, I can't find my soulmate." She broke the distance that kept them apart and brough him into a hug, crying, pleading, _please, please don't take my baby away, please don't take my sunshine from me._

And when his arms hugged her back and tears soaked her shoulder, she broke.

"We'll find a way, I promise, I promise, I- it'll be okay, I will protect you, with everything I have. I don't care if you have to flirt with everything that moves, I don't care how many dates I have to pay for, you'll find someone, you have to, it's inconceivable that your love won't be returned. We'll find them, we will, whatever it takes." She tightened her grip and felt a fire set alight inside her chest, a burning will to protect her own with every fiber of her being.

Her son stepped away and their eyes met, the ocean hue that he shared with her dimmed somewhat even though the moon shone brightly upon them.

"No, no mami, I don't want that." She was about to protest, but-

"I don't want to live wondering if the person I'll love will be the one, or if I will have to chose someone else to remain alive. When I fall in love, I want it to be from the bottom of my heart, I want to fall in love, and love that person because I chose to, not because some design written on the stars said so. Even if...-he let out a breathy sigh- even if it means I won't be with them for long, I want it to be my choice, mami, please understand." She wanted to say yes, agree with him so he they would be on good terms once more, but she couldn't do that, she was a mother, her son's life was more important to her than true love.

She wanted him to experience it and be happy, yes, but more than anything, she wanted him alive, healthy.

She wanted her baby to be okay.

When she didn't answer he left her side and walked to the shore, dipping his feet on the swallow waters and squaring his shoulders, back straight and eyes looking far, far away.

"Mom, when I'm old enough, I'm going to apply for the Garrison." She gasped, horrified beyond belief with everything going on. Too much, stop it, when will the universe stop breaking her heart? When will she stop feeling like her soul is being ripped to shreds?

"Why? Why would you-"

"I need to know who I am. I need to know why I was born." She felt like the shimmering lights in the sky were trying to steal her son away, mocking her whilst her beautiful treasure sought closure on a place where she couldn't follow.

"You were born out of _love_! Isn't that enough?" Her voice broke, and she sobbed on her cupped hands, feeling like she was losing a part of herself as he planned a future far from home, a future where he pursued questions she didn't care to know the answer to.

"I'm sorry, mom, I need to know _why_. Why the universe put it's youngest son on Earth, why I was born like this, why my sisters still call me desperately even to this day." He turned around and walked to her side, holding her hands tenderly and gifting her with a smile that left her boneless, aching.

It was the same bright filled smile he used to give her before she broke his trust.

"I hope you can forgive me." She chuckled, the sound wrecked and rough.

"Don't be silly, there's nothing to forgive. You're just following your heart and I can't fault you for that, no matter how much it hurts." She received the sweetest grin in return for her understanding, Alejandro's cheeks a rosy pink as he laughed freely, mumbling about how good it felt to finally let all of it out.

She glanced up at the black canvas that watched over them and frowned.

The stars might be an important part of his life too, they might be family, too.

But she wasn't going to give away her son so easily.

The universe might of been his father, but she was his _mother_.

And a mother's love knows no bounds.

\--

At sixteen, Alejandro was well known in their new neighborhood for being a flirt, being extremely bubbly and upbeat, and having the best luck around. Her son liked to flirt with anyone that came close, and, at first, she thought it was because he was trying to appease her dread. But as time passed by, she noticed he quite enjoyed it, he beamed every time he made someone smile, doing his signature finger guns as the other party giggled.

Old grandmas? He complimented their hairstyle and fashion. Little kids? He praised their choice of Pokemon and the hue of their ribbons or sneakers. It became a habit for him, some harmless fun that he loved because it lifted people's spirits, and he was always quick to apologize and back off if he though the person was uncomfortable or didn't appreciate his flattery.

He played with the kids on the neighborhood and even planned events to do together, he loved spending time with them and telling them stories he made up. He organized weekly bingo sessions for the eldery and cracked up every time old Georgina brought her wineskin bottle, the evening always ending in mayhem when she did.

Her son was happy, and their family, as doubtful and confused as they'd been when she first told them, had grown to accept that their youngest was special in ways that no one else was. They hadn't asked many question and just bestowed hugs upon hugs on him, smothering him in their love, promising unconditional support in whatever he wanted to do.

Later that night, her husband had cried himself to sleep, and her children had wept and sobbed in the privacy of their rooms, thinking that no one would hear.

But she did, she always did.

Still, they were doing okay, Alejandro was preparing to go to the Garrison in a week, he would study there for three years, and then, if he was lucky and worked hard enough, he would be able to go to space, which was his dream, something he had to do no matter what.

She wouldn't deny that she was terrified of him going away, far from her reach where she couldn't comfort him and reassure him that he would be fine, that he'd find his special one and live long enough to meet the newest generation of McClains.

He could meet new people on the school, and maybe, if the universe was kind enough for once, his soulmate would be there or on the adjoining city, but, as soon as he traveled to space....the time to search for his chosen one would be cut short, he would be confined to talk to the same people for months.

She was selfish, but she wanted him to spend as much time as he could looking for that person, the sole idea of him passing before her freezing her being, gripping her heart in an icy hold.

"Mom, are you listening to me?" She hummed and glanced at him.

"Si, Alejandro, que quieres? I told you already that it'll be cold in the desert, just take all your hoodies and you'll be okay." Her son groaned and plopped down on the bed facedown.

"Ugh, but they are not fancy, or cool, they are dull and boring, I need to keep my style when I go to the Garrison." She chuckled, amused at his antics.

"No seas tonto. You'll wear the uniform at all times, you'll barely have any time to wear your normal clothes. Besides, the hoodies are warm, you'll thank me when the night hits the desert, believe me." He pouted but eventually stored the clothes inside his suitcase, gathering all his trinkets and photos and other things he wanted to take with him.

She smiled softly when he caught the family photo stuck on one of his pockets, and tried to will time to go slower, wanting to spend as much time as possible with him before he had to go.

Sadly, the clock didn't stop tickling, time moved on, and a week had gone by way too fast, their goodbyes too quick as the plane landed and her son sniffed, promising to call every week to give them a detailed report of his Garrison experience.

A few days after his departure they got their first call, and Lance -as he liked to call himself now, easier pronunciation, he'd said- eagerly told them all about the place and the people there, excited and energized, visibly happy as he moved his hands around to explain.

 _"And, oh my god you wouldn't believe who I saw a while ago! It was Takashi Shirogane! Like, that guy is my hero! I wanted to ask for an autograph, but he was talking with this dude who looked super broody and angry and I lost my nerve_." He frowned, but bounced back to an animated state fairly quickly.

 _"Oh, oh, also, you couldn't believe my roommate, mom. He's the sweetest guy in the whole universe. He's called Hunk and he's so cool and smart and nice? He can cook, and I legit cried when he made pasta last night, he lets me cuddle at night with him and helps me study and I-?! He's the best, mom."_ She listened intently, a spark of anticipation bubbling in her stomach as she looked at the happiness etched on his face, eyes shining with mirth.

"Lance, sweetie, is he-" He raised his hand and shook his head.

 _"Sorry mama, he's not. He's just a really good friend, the best I ever had, really, but.....I don't feel that way about him._ " His eyes apologized to her, and she ran a frustrated hand through her hair, disappointed that she'd made him feel down again.

"That's okay, forget I said anything. Now, what were you saying about his cooking skills?" He brightened up once more, explaining animatedly about his abilities and inventions, then about the ships and simulations and every cool bit of tech the school had.

When he finished, she bidded him goodnight, and tried to sleep with the heaviness that settled in her heart.

Another day gone, a step closer to disaster.

The countdown continued.

\--

At seventeen years old, her son had loved to talk about a boy with eyes like amethyst and a way of flying that took his breath away.

_'He's just, so aloof and introverted, he never looks my way even though I'm always trying to catch his attention, he never talks to anyone and seems kind of an angry loner, but his flying....Mama, if you saw his flying, it's like he'd been born to pilot, and no matter how many times I see it, it still takes my breath away.'_

At seventeen years old, he'd liked to rave on and on about a new boy that joined his team, how he thought he was hiding something and how much he wanted to help him, hoping to ease the sorrow he carried.

_'He just...he always seems on edge, you know? And eveytime someone brings up the Kerberos incident he flips, I think he might know something and is searching for answers. I know how that feels, you know? And I really want to help him, he's always frowning like he's on the verge of crying.....and it breaks my heart every time.'_

At seventeen years old, her son was declared dead by the Garrison, no body, no reason, no empathy, just a check and a certificate and the news that her beautiful baby was gone.

_'Don't worry so much, mom! It's being difficult, and I might only be a cargo pilot for now, but I'm not giving up! I'll study a whole lot and be up to fighter class in a jiffy! Just you wait!'_

At seventeen years old, her son vanished without a trace, and she never saw him again.

But her heart didn't break, the tears didn't fall.

Nobody cried.

Because a star so bright and vibrant and full of life wouldn't have been snuffed out so silently.

Because there was no explosion that bathed the sky in blue and no meteorites or space dust raining over them.

At seventeen years old, her son disappeared of the face of the Earth, and she took to stargazing every night, holding tight onto the small thread of hope that connected both of them, waiting for the day he would come home.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on tumbr if you wish!  
> https://ultiwrites.tumblr.com/


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